2023 Cadillac Escalade-V Road Test: Somehow this thing rules
The 2023 Cadillac Escalade-V is the luxury muscle SUV to rule them all. Handling? What handling? This is a freakin’ Escalade. Noise? Oh, this entire review could exclusively consist of noise impressions, and there would still be more to say. Luxury? You bet. Nothing about the Escalade-V’s pursuit of performance interferes with its traditional role of being a driving barcalounger, which is as it should be.
Unlike other performance-focused SUVs, Cadillac simply said no to worrying about things like skidpad figures, high-bolstered seats and a boy-racer appearance makeover. Frankly, it’s refreshing that a new “performance” SUV isn’t pretending to be something it isn’t — Cadillac has the CT4-V and CT5-V Blackwings for those purposes. That’s not to say SUVs like the Porsche Cayenne high-po variants, BMW M models or wide-reaching AMG range don’t have appeal. They’re fun in their own ways, but I can say with 100% certainty that the Escalade-V apes that hot-SUV class in pure fun by lots and lots of quarter miles. The funny part is, the Escalade-V will lose pretty much every quarter-mile drag race versus other top-rung performance SUVs, and yet, I couldn’t care less.
Senior Editor James Riswick was right about the startup sound being downright alarming on the Escalade-V’s first drive. I stood behind the subtly-styled quad exhaust pipes for the remote start every single time I took the Escalade-V out for a drive. Owners should do the same. On the first startup, I visually flinched and took a step back. This is somehow legal, I think to myself. It makes the remote start sound of the C8 Corvette seem tame. At one point during the week, I was walking back to the Escalade-V post-dinner and remote started it from a distance while some college-aged kids were strolling by it. You know, for science purposes. Two of them leapt backward and one literally started into a jog down the sidewalk in reaction. Yeah, that was rather rude of me, but science required it be done. Now we all know what the public thinks of this thing.
Similar reactions to the Escalade-V followed it around all week long. Simply puttering around town will result in the Escalade-V’s exhaust banging and crackling like
